"Long Interview"
Through the various experiences I've accumulated,
I want to expand my possibilities.
I admired Ikoma Rina-san, who's also from Akita,
and because of that I applied for the auditions.
ー What kind of girl were you as a child?
Ayane: When I was in kindergarten I had a weak body and was hospitalized about 12 times in total. I'm sure it was difficult for my mother, but I remember that I had a lot of fun.
I have memories of playing with the nurses at the hospital and falling in love for the first time with my doctor. So I don't have any bad memories. When I got to elementary school, I was a quiet, unobtrusive kid who would read a book in the corner of the class.
ー What made you decide to join the group?
Ayane: I started to like idols when I was in junior HS. At first I liked AKB48, then NMB48, and somehow at some point I found out about Nogizaka46. I thought, "There's a girl from Akita, and she's the center of the group!". Nogizaka46 was very famous in Akita at that time.
ー Was that so?
Ayane: Due to the existence of Ikoma Rina-san, I thought that Nogizaka46 was as famous as AKB48. So, when I found out about the audition for the 2nd gen I thought, "Let's go for it". That's how it was. It was when I was in the 2nd year of junior HS.
ー But Nogizaka46 wasn't so famous at that time, wasn't it?
Ayane: Yes. After I joined I found out that the group was still growing. That's why I felt that Ikoma-san's existence was so important.
ー She was a great senior. What made you like idols in the first place?
Ayane: I wonder what it was...., I can't remember.
ー So you only noticed about it when you were next to one?
Ayane: That's right. At the moment I realized, I was already in love with it. All of my family like to sing, and we grew up in an environment where music was always playing in the house, so I always liked music. So I think it was music that got me to begin with. I was like, "I like this song, oh, it's sung by such a cute girl..."
ー It seemed like a pretty daring jump to go from being just an idol enthusiast who was not very outstanding in class to auditioning to be one. How did you feel?
Ayane: Well, I didn't think too much about it, I just thought, "Well, I'll go for it," or something like that. I didn't think it would change my life. It's more like a lesson. I had been taking a lot of lessons since I was in elementary school, so it felt like one of them.
ー Did you talk to your family about it before you applied?
Ayane: No, I didn't. I applied for the auditions on my own, and when a Nogizaka46 mail arrived to my home, my family was like, " What is this?". When I told them that I actually had applied for the auditions they got mad at me.
ー So you had such a bold side. Even after the scolding, nobody was opposed to it?
Ayane: They were, and even though only my father was like, "Why not?", my mother and brother were really against it. But, they thought that I would regret it if I didn't go to the audition and quit, and that I'd feel better if I go to be rejected. And then I was accepted, so I was like, "What I'm going to do...?".
ー So even after you were accepted, your brother and mother were still opposed to it?
Ayane: Yes. They were opposed for like 2 years saying things like, "Are you really going to do it? From now on".
ー Please tell me about your audition. Did you think that you were going to make it? Or was this just to gain some memories?
Ayane: I had never been to any other auditions before, so I didn't know much about it, but I felt like it was just meant to be, somehow. I wasn't overwhelmed, I wasn't nervous, of course that I'd be happy if I was accepted, but it doesn't feel like it was a reward for my hard work....... It was a strange feeling, really. It felt like it was fate. It's like God just put me there with a 'pop', that kind of feeling iis.
ー So you weren't too nervous or overwhelmed when you were accepted?
Ayane: I was like, "I did it, great." More like it was somebody else's affairs.
ー You weren't worried about things like what you would do next or something?
Ayane: I didn't think about it at all. At that moment I didn't realize that I was going to be on that shiny place I saw on TV...... and probably I'm still without realizing it (laughs).
ー Interesting.... Do you have any memories of the audition? I wonder if there were any members who were close to you at those times.
Ayane: I don't remember the audition at all. I only became friends with Hori Miona at the last audition, but I don't remember what kind of people were there before that. Everyone else was very excited. I don't remember, but when I heard someone saying, "You were here at that time," I became very surprised that they can remember that much.
ー How did you and Hori-san become friends?
Ayane: We were the only two people who came from the country. We said, "There are only two of us" and we became good friends.
ー So, you passed the audition. You came from Akita, right?
Ayane: Yes. I went to the auditions alone. And then I'd come to Tokyo on Friday night, take lessons on Saturday and Sunday, and then I'd go back to Akita so on Monday morning I could go straight to school.
ー That sounds very hard.
Ayane: But I don't remember it being so hard. I was enjoying the commitment of it.
ー Did you have experience in singing and dancing before joining Nogizaka46?
Ayane: No, I didn't. I had my first experience after I joined Nogizaka46.
ー How was it in the beginning?
Ayane: The members who lived in Kanto (near Tokyo) had lessons every weekday, so I couldn't keep up with them. But when I noticed that the lessons were over, I wondered things like, "when I would grow up?" and if I'd be able to perform on a stage just like this.
It's normal to have a period of lethargy and smallness,
so I never felt that I had some kind of misfortune.
ー Do you remember the first time you performed a Live?
Ayane: The first time, I think we performed two songs at the national handshake event, but I don't know how we were feeling at that time. We gathered by ourselves and rented a place for lessons. I remember we asked the staff to make a free time for us to practice, and then we got together to practice. I felt that we had to manage it by ourselves.
ー Did you feel relieved when the concert was over?
Ayane: I wonder how I felt....I can't remember. And without knowing it well, it was over before I knew it.
ー Did the performance make you want to do more things like this?
Ayane: Back then, I couldn't look at myself objectively, so I just went up on stage, sang and danced, and went back to Akita on weekdays to go to school, and that was the most I could do.
ー At the beginning of the 2nd generation all of you were under the Kenkyuusei system. What do you think about those times?
Ayane: Well, when we were Kenkyuusei's.... I didn't have actually the time to think about it, so my feelings were the same now as when I was a one. I didn't have negative feelings because I was a one, so I'm the same as now in terms of working hard.
(Kenkyuusei: research student, non-member)
ー Ayane-san, how would you describe the 2nd generation? The members in particular.
Ayane: The second gen.....that it's hard.
ー From the outside, one can really feel the overwhelming strength of the 2nd generation......
Ayane: The second gen members have so many different ways of thinking, so I don't know why we're united to begin with. But, I really love them. I don't know why I love them so much, but I really do.
ー What do you think about the fact that you are called "the unlucky second gen"?
Ayane: I don't think of myself as an unlucky person. It may look like that, but it's normal to have a period of time when you're not in a good place. I don't feel that it was a bad period for me.
I don't mind doing any job as long as I can work for Nogizaka.
ー How did you feel when you were selected in a senbatsu for the first time?
Ayane: I was happy. But at that time, I didn't feel anything special about performing, because I had been asked to substitute several times in singing shows. But recently, when I performed "Jikochuu de Ikou" I finally realized that I was selected in the senbatsu.
ー You were a bit more out of touch with the group before Senbatsu than after it, weren't you?
Ayane: Yes, that's right. I realized that this is what it means to have your position. When I saw senpais who were graduating and kouhais who were playing for new members, I realized that this was the place for me, my position.
ー Because that's a place in which you didn't move, so you could see the change from the opposite direction.
Ayane: Yes, yes.
ー I see... On the other hand there's the Under activities. Do you have any thoughts about their live performances and their music?
Ayane: Well...Under. How it is, it's kind of hard to say. To start with I consider the Under lives a very fun experience. I'm not a passionate person by nature so I don't have strong feelings about it.
ー From what you say, I get the impression that you have a very flat attitude towards your work.
Ayane: Yes, that may be true.
ー You're expanding your personal works to include favorite airplane-related TV shows, stage and screen productions, but is there anything you like or dislike in terms of work? Do you have any aspirations?
Ayane: Well, I have no likes or dislikes, and basically I'm not the "I want to do this!" type of person. I'm not actually a person without a goal, but I think I would do anything as long as I can work for Nogizaka.
ー As the 'Suzuki Ayane of Nogizaka46', you are doing a lot of work to spread the name of Nogizaka, aren't you?
Ayane: Yes, that's right. I don't think I'd like to work as an actress in the future, but I want to do it for the sake of the group, that's the most important reason.
ー So you are not so bad at it?
Ayane: For example, I wish I was better at acting, but I don't think I'm not so bad at it either. It's interesting to discover more and more things about any job as you go through it.
ー You also have the chance to be with your fans, doing handshakes, posting blogs and messaging on 755. Do you like to interact with them?
Ayane: Yes, it's fun and interesting to hear their impressions and opinions from a perspective that I don't have.
ー Do you like to talk with them?
Ayane: I like it. I just feel very sorry that I won't talk much because I like listening to you. I'm really, really sorry about that.
ー So you want your fans to talk to you a lot.
Ayane: I want to hear all kinds of things from them. I'm sorry for asking such thing (laughs).
ー What is your stance on 755?
Ayane: Originally I used to answer questions on my blog, but it became difficult for some reason, I felt that answering questions and uploading them on my blog were a bit distant from each other. That's when I found out that members were using 755, and I started using it a bit late. It was like moving from just blogs to 755 as a place to communicate with your fans.
ー Is the casual style of 755 just the right one for you to communicate with them?
Ayane: Yes.
I was really convinced that the first meeting of the photobook was a prank.
ー When did you first hear about the decision to publish this photobook?
Ayane: I think it was during the national tour, so probably it was the last summer or so. I got a contact from staff-san. I received a week's schedule, and it said on it, "Suzuki's photobook meeting". I thought, "What's this all about?" and then I got a call from them saying it was decided. That's how it went.
ー What did you think when you heard that?
Ayane: I thought, "are we really publishing it?" I wondered if I was being tricked, like a prank or something.
ー Why were you so skeptical?
Ayane: I don't work as a model for a magazine and I don't have a lot of gravure shoots, so I didn't expect that I would be asked to do this project. At some point I thought that it would be nice to publish it someday, but I didn't think it was going to be true.
ー After we were told that the book was decided, it was at the "meeting" were we met at.
Ayane: Yeah. Since it was just a weekly schedule.
ー At that meeting we talked about various potential locations to choose from. And you had the meeting right after you heard it was decided.
Ayane: Yes, I was in a state of confusion. I was really expecting to be told "It's a prank!" at that point, and I went there prepared for it. But it seems to be true.
ー There was even an editor-like person there (laughs).
Ayane: That's when I realized it's true. So, I couldn't make up my mind or anything. The biggest thought I had at that moment was "It has to be a lie". However, I had the idea that if I'd publish a photobook someday, I'd go to a cold place, so I was surprised when I heard of Tahiti.
ー When you heard the name, you were also like,「Huh? Tahiti? Where?」don't you?
Ayane: Yes. I had never heard that name before. But the more I researched about it, the more I thought it was a wonderful place.
ーFor this photobook, it was asked to Shintsubo Kenshu-san to be the photographer, which was Ayane's request.
Ayane: I'm not so good at being photographed. I don't like myself either on the outside or inside. When you take a picture, it captures not only the outer appearance but also the inner aura. So I didn't have much time to look at the photos I was given, and although I did check them, I just thought, "Oh, so this is how it looks like..." and that's it. But when I saw the photos taken by Shintsubo-san before, I was impressed with them. When I was at the handshake event, many fans said to me, "That picture was good," and I remembered that, so I mentioned his name.
ー I saw that gravure. It was wonderful.
Ayane: But that gravure was shot in the cold season, and it was cold. So I was worried about how Shintsubo-san would be in a hot place....like Tahiti. And I was hesitant to say his name, because I thought it would be difficult for him since he is a very famous person. But I was very happy to hear that people liked it.
ー Shintsubo-san also remembered the gravure shoot at the first meeting, and he was very eager to do it.
Ayane: I'm glad to hear it. Well, it was so good that he didn't reject it.
ー There was a little bit of time before the shooting, did you do any preparations for it?
Ayane: No, I didn't do anything special. I tried to lose a little bit of weight, but it didn't work out because to be honest I've never been on one before... I'm sorry about that.
ー No, you didn't need to diet at all. I think it was the first time for you to get fitted with a swimsuit and underwear.
Ayane: I was like, "everyone who work on a photobook do this.". I didn't feel uncomfortable about it at all.
ー So you weren't embarrassed at all.
Ayane: Yes, that's right. It wasn't that much, I guess.
ー Now that you've been there, how was Tahiti?
Ayane: Honestly, I can't wait to go back. It very was fun.
ー I'm glad to hear that you had a good time.What was the best part you enjoyed it?
Ayane: The ocean. I didn't think the ocean would be that beautiful. I want to swim again. Even after I came back to Japan, I keep insisting to the members, "I want to go back to that beautiful sea."
ー But you had to go to several places in a very short time, so you didn't have much time to relax, didn't you?
Ayane: But I love to travel with plans, so it was easy for me to have a lot of activities set out in advance. I think it was a very good trip. Thanks to the fact that my schedule was so well planned, I decided that I wanted to do this kind of trip in the future.
ー Are there any countries you'd like to go to once this worldwide situation settles down?
Ayane: I'd like to go to Taipei. I've been there before for a Live performance, and it was fun, but at that time I couldn't do much sightseeing. I'd like to go to the city to eat and walk around.
ー How do you feel about the finished photobook?
Ayane: It has a slightly different feeling from the past photobooks of the Nogizaka46 members, and I think it has a unique perspective on the world, which only Shintsubo-san has. It is interesting that there are pages of scenery only, such as a rainbow, and also pages with my arms up. And actually, there is also a personal book that appears in this photobook.
ー Kazuo Ishiguro's "Hi no Nagori", right?
Ayane: Yes, it is. I really like his books, and I wanted to read others too, so I bought it. I brought it with me to Tahiti because I thought I'd have a lot of time to read it while traveling, but I didn't think it would be used for shooting. I also think it's a good way to show some of my own personality.
I'd like to expand my possibilities and become an adult that I can't even imagine of now.
ー Please tell us a little about your future. What kind of work do you want to do in the future?
Ayane: As long as I am in Nogizaka46, I would like to continue to work as the Suzuki Ayane of Nogizaka46, not as an "independent" Suzuki Ayane, but as the Suzuki Ayane of Nogizaka46.
ー Do you have any goals, such as what kind of work you want to do or how you want to be in the group?
Ayane: A goal? It's hard to say. But I think all the experiences I've had for the group have been saved and accumulated in me. I don't want to be an actress because I've gained experience in acting, but I want to do it so I can change my career path into various forms and expand into various fields. Rather than trying to break through in one job, I would like to do various things and expand my potential.
ー You are 21 years old now, and you have made it through your teenage years as a member of Nogizaka46. What kind of adult do you want to be in your 30s and 40s?
Ayane: What kind of adult? That's so far in the future, I can't imagine. But when I was a teenager, I didn't think I'd be like this when I was 20, so I want to be like this in the future too. During my teenage years, I imagined that I would go to college and work hard at finding a job in my twenties. But now, I think that when I reach my twenties or thirties, I will get married and live happily to some extent, but I'll be betrayed by him because of me. I think that I'd probably be challenging myself in a lot of ways.
ー I'm sure you'll doing things that you can't even imagine yourself doing now.
Ayane: Yes, I really hope so. If that's the case, I would like to say, "You didn't expect it to be this way, don't you?" to myself!
ー If you don't limit your possibilities, you actually can have a good life.
Ayane: Yes, that's right. If I can experience various things every day and enjoy my life, that would be good.
(fin)
Please support Suzuki Ayane by buying her photobook, "Hikari no Kakudo".
